Am I really who Facebook says I am?

Did you know that approximately 12.8 million Australians have a Facebook profile? That this is over half of our population of 23.13 million people?

But is the person behind the profile really the same as the one that you see on screen?

I am one of those 12.8 million people but I am not the person that you think I am.

Have you ever stopped to wonder what is going on behind the scenes in your ‘friends’ lives? Do they only show you what they want you to see? Do they only tell you what you would want to hear? Are they hiding anything that would make you be judgemental?

Facebook just allows you to portray the you that you want everyone to see. The one that you want people to like, the one that you want people to ‘comment’ on your posts or ‘like’ your pictures. Is there anyone out there that has a profile that is 100% true to themselves and what they are thinking and feeling in every day life? I don’t think there is. We are all too scared of being judged. Scared of losing ‘friends’. Scared of being labelled even if all we are doing is being true to ourselves.

I do not portray the real me. I wish I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not, but when you know that posting something that’s not ‘happy’ is just seen to be attention seeking, what is the point? Its not attention seeking if you have something on your mind that you want to tell people who are meant to be your ‘friends’. I don’t say things that I really want to, for a fear of being judged. But what am I fearful for? If Facebook is full of my real friends and family then there should never be any judgement at all.

If I posted on Facebook that I’ve had depression and that I’ve been medicated for this in the past I’m sure that majority of people would have said ‘I never would have guessed’. It’s so easy to pretend to be ok. It’s so easy to smile for photos and pretend to be happy when you’ve been pretending for so long. But why do it? Mental Health is real and its a huge problem in this day and age. Why should I be scared about losing friends if I show them who I really am? Because if they choose not to accept me or if they choose to judge me, were they ever my real friends at all?

I have currently de-activated my Facebook account. I was sick of pretending that I was ok and pretending that the smile is real when on the inside I feel like I’m falling apart. Why should I have to de-activate my account so I don’t have to pretend any more? Why cant I just be myself? Why cant I just say what I’m really thinking? Why cant I post a quote or a picture that reflects me better than a fake smile at a party? Fear. Fear is why I say nothing. Fear stops me from opening up completely. How do you tell your best friends that you’ve lost your inner happiness? I don’t know why I’m so fearful of being judged. Other peoples opinions shouldn’t matter but for some reason you think they do. How do you move past that? How do you convince yourself that being yourself, truly being yourself is ok?

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Online Dating Tips for Guys- From a Girls Point of View

The stigma that came with online dating seems to be becoming a thing of the past. With enhancements in technology and new generations not being able to keep an electronic device from their hands for too long, means that the ‘easiest’ way to interact with people is via social media and online apps and sites.
If the guys are actually serious about wanting to find the right girl, I have a few tips. Not all girls will agree with me but I’m sure that I have the majority saying ‘OMG yes! That is so annoying when they do that!’

TIP ONE
If your profile says that you are NOT a smoker, I suggest that you remove any photos of you smoking from your profile. And there is no point lying about it. I don’t think you will enjoy a long date if you’re spending the whole time hanging to get out for a cigarette. Be honest! You’re getting off on the wrong foot if you smell like smoke on a first meeting, it’s not something that’s easy to hide remember.

TIP TWO
If your profile says that you’re looking for a relationship don’t start the conversation with questions or comments about sex or blowjobs. You will not find someone who is looking for a relationship that way.

I think you guys forget that relationships are not based on sex. Yes there obviously needs to be some compatibility in the bedroom but how about getting to know a person for who they are first. If you click on so many levels before you reach the bedroom, usually that will come naturally anyway.

TIP THREE
STOP CALLING ME BABE!
If I have only just starting talking to you, or even if we have been talking for days, don’t call me babe! Or hun, or sexy, or cute… The list could go on forever.
Some girls might like this to make themselves feel good but not most! You don’t know me, you’ve seen a few photos and read a short blurb about me but that doesn’t mean you ‘know’ me. So back off with the ‘cute’ names. They are not a turn on, they won’t make me like you or talk to you. If anything it makes me want to end the conversation right then and there.
Calling a girl names like that becomes personal, you are not entitled to that right if you have never met the girl!

TIP FOUR
If you want to attract someone who wants a relationship, don’t post photos of your body or your ‘six pack’. When posting those photos you’re attracting girls who just want some fun and are not looking for anything serious. If you want a relationship, leave some things to the imagination! If you’ve written in your profile that you like to keep fit or that you’re a gym junkie it doesn’t need to be followed up with half naked photos. It’s no fun for a girl if half of the universe has seen her guy half naked! And not to mention that it makes you seem stuck up and full of yourself. If you love yourself that much will you really have the time to love anyone else in your life?

TIP FIVE
Write about yourself! If you’re not willing to make the effort to write about yourself in your profile why would any girl think you would be willing to make an effort for them? If you’re not going to try and do what you can to find the right person then why should we talk to you? People say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. If you’re only posting photos then you are leaving us with no option but to judge purely on what we see.

TIP SIX
Spell my name right! If my name is written in front of you, spell it correctly. I’m not going to have a conversation with someone who can’t even spell my name right. That is no way to make a good impression. Just shows me that I’m just another girl that you’re trying your luck with and not actually wanting to make an effort for.

TIP SEVEN
Don’t rush into things!
It seems to be that for guys and girls that there are a lot of misleading people that use online dating. But there are also genuine people that do. If you go on a date and the girl is genuine and herself and is the same in person as she is behind a phone/computer. DO NOT RUSH THINGS!
Without sounding like some miracle woman, there have been way too many comments on a first date about me being ‘wife material’. And its not always just a passing comment. It is usually followed up with the deactivating of dating profiles and wanting to seal the moment with a kiss and ask if we can see each other again as soon as possible. This is way too forward. I am not interested in someone who is willing to jump into something from one date. Sure there have been messages or phone calls getting to know one another but after meeting someone once, you cant make a life decision based on that. All you’re doing is scaring me away and the moment that first date has ended, I’m running for the hills. This doesn’t mean I’m not looking for commitment, it just means that it takes time and MULTIPLE dates before deciding on wanting a relationship.

TIP EIGHT
No Dick Pics! These are NOT going to get you the right kind of girl. Just so you know, if you send one, I’m not getting excited over it and I will not send one back. But I will send it to my best friends and LAUGH AT YOU! Sending naked photos should (if you’re into it) be something you do in a relationship when you’re comfortable with someone. It is not a pick up line and not a good way of winning someone over.